Beneath the Willow
by Rinkashi Namiki
Summary: Inspired by the song, "Whiskey Lullaby." Seifer loses his way as Quistis struggles to remember what she is missing.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I live by escaping into my bittersweet alternate realities.

mo chroí- gaelic for "my heart"

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Seifer took another generous swig of whiskey as an old, old memory floated around his dulled senses.

_Quistis laughed as she twirled underneath the stars with a smile on her face reserved only for him. He was standing at the forest opening with an unopened bottle of wine and glasses waiting at his feet. With his bare arms crossed over his vest, he nodded to her, greeting her. Quistis chuckled as she stepped into his embrace, not caring that she ditched her own graduation ceremony to spend the night with him instead._

_Nuzzling into her neck, Seifer whispered, "Hey there. I thought you'd forgotten… It's so late. Are ya sure you're not gonna be missed? It **is** your ceremony after all."_

_Exhaling happily, Quistis responded by laying her head on his shoulder. "Silly. It's for __**all **__of the new instructors. They'll barely notice I'm not there." Taking a step back, she reached into her messenger bag. "I saw this while I was in Deling City after my exam… it reminded me of you, so I bought it." Holding out a neatly folded light grey something, she waited for Seifer to take it._

_Grabbing the lapels, Seifer shook out the folds and revealed a trench coat with fire-red crosses embroidered on the sleeves. "Quisty.. it's.. just wow. Thank you!" Shrugging the coat on in nonchalant excitement, Seifer whole-heartedly kissed Quistis in eager thanks._

"_Something tells me that you like it." Quistis chuckled as she wound her arms around Seifer's neck._

_Gazing into her eyes, Seifer moved his arms around her waist and held her close. "I do. Very much so, _mo chroí."

_Seifer held Quistis close for a moment longer before he surprised her by giving into a wanton desire to dance. Gracefully leading her, he stepped, sidestepped, and twirled with her until their heads spun._

_Quistis collapsed playfully into the overgrown grass as Seifer retrieved the wine…_

Seifer grunted, trying to will the memories of her to fade as the whiskey burned like fiery worms in his belly.

_Seifer grinned, watching Quistis as she tilted her head back to finish the last of the wine from where he was laying. "Careful, that stuff will stain."_

_Nestling into his side, Quistis lay her head over Seifer's heart and spoke into his stomach. "They're goin' ta send me to Galbadia Garden for my evaluation," feeling the wine, Quistis paused to hiccup, "as an instructor. It's goin' ta be a year long assignment…"_

_Lazily rubbing circles into her back mindlessly, Seifer interrupted, "A year'll go faster than you think, darlin'…"_

Seifer shook his head, stopping the memory. He drank the last of the whiskey and rested the empty bottle against his forehead before collapsing.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: This chapter takes place in Seifer's past- a flashback of sorts. As always, please leave me a review. It means more to this author than you would think.

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Seifer took a drink of the scalding swamp sludge that garden deemed "coffee" and exhaled harshly. He checked his watch, anticipating the arrival of Fuujin and Raijin. Once again, he would have to go through the motions of the troubled student taking a SeeD field exam- not that he really gave a shit what the faculty or other students thought- he just wanted to be able to be honest with the only 'friends' he really had anymore. After losing Quistis, he'd thrown everything he had left into becoming a SeeD. Turns out, he made a damn good covert agent- the 'problem student' that headed the Disciplinary Committee by day and gathered intelligence by night. Thanks to Cid's choice to find Garden's funding via loanshark, he supposed it was necessary for Cid to have a handful of pocket aces – out of sight and reach from the greedy pud NORG.

Deciding his 'posse' was not about to show up, Seifer stood as he finished the dregs of his coffee and headed back to his dorm. On his way he marveled and damned the Garden students' ignorant bliss of being able to junction guardians and only take missions as they were handed to them.

Back in his dorm, Seifer made to grab for his trench coat when a folded paper fell from a pocket. He read the handwritten words and ran a hand through his hair in agitation. With a pained look on his face, Seifer read the words over again before throwing the crumpled letter into his trashbin followed by a match. As he watched the paper burn, he mentally recited the letter.

_Class SS SeeD: Seifer Almasy. _

_The thing we feared has come to fruition. As the man before you, I cannot ask you to take on this mission… We cannot predict enemy S nor can we predict the possible consequences were you to accept. As the headmaster and founder of Garden, I have no choice but to order you to wear the mask of a traitor in order to prevent total destruction by the hands of subject S. _

_Use your judgment; break laws if you have to. Intercept subject S and become as close and as trusted as possible to subject S. Minimize destruction without blowing cover. There will be a field team you can trust working close to you. You will know them once you see their faces. They will know nothing of subject S. You and I are the only ones that know about your mission. _

_On the upcoming SeeD Field Assessment you will accompany the cadets as part of your cover. The start of your mission will be to secure the Communications Tower at all costs. Glean what information you can. Upon completion of the field test, you will be detained in the disciplinary room. Keep the enclosed gil on your person as emergency funding- it is the only funding you will be able to receive to maintain a believable cover. Once you break out of the DR, you are on your own. Memorize then erase these orders from existence. _

_Hynespeed._

Seifer once more ran a hand through his hair in agitation as he left the smoking ashes and his dorm behind. There were places he had to go and things he had to do in preparation- namely start his "fall into insanity." The echo of his footsteps in the empty hallway seemed to mimic his dour mood as he headed toward his first stop- the training center.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: All right, I feel that I should clear this up before it turns into chaos and confusion. CH01 is set approximately a month after the Second Sorceress War (SWII) ends. CH02 is set at the beginning of the actual gameplay, and CH03 takes place a year before the gameplay, as does Seifer's memory from CH01.

Also, I thank my reviewers. Each review sparks my inspiration to write.

[]

Infuriated, Quistis stormed out of Galbadia Garden and away from the catcalls and wolf-whistles. How did the headmaster expect her to teach leering students that were more interested in her anatomy than how to survive on a battlefield? She planned on having a word with him. As she paced through the knee-height grass, she formed the keypoints of her impending discussion with the headmaster, _Martine_.

Scuttling beneath the cover of the grass, a mutated, cretinous creature chanced upon Quistis and was driven nearer her by an unseen force and waited until her back was turned to attack.

Caught off guard, Quistis grabbed for her whip only to realize she'd left it at Garden in her furious haste. Panicked, she rushed the mutated Geezard, trying to make use of her limited knowledge in hand-to-hand combat, but the Geezard defensively kept a distance between them, rendering Quistis' every attack futile. Bloody and becoming winded, Quistis hastily mentally recalled everything she knew of junctioning magic.

_C'mon Quisty! Think! You can do this!_

_Draw-casting reduces efficiency and accuracy between 10 and 50 percent…but…_

_No Guardian, no magic._

_Cases of natural mages were few and far between as well as having minimal scientific recordings... such alleged mages being limited to specific magics. Ancient historians dictated that the mages would draw the spells from within their body's spiritual lifestream… a life-giving force separate from the organs and body, an invisible sheath of sorts.._

Mentally picturing her spirtual lifeforce, Quistis' ears began to distinguish a chorus of voices reaching out to her. Seizing the opportunity, she latched onto them and cast the first spell that washed across her fingertips. Opening her eyes, Quistis noticed the Geezard's limp form- blown nearly in gory halves. Shock, amazement, inquisitiveness- the emotions bewildered her along with a burning question: How?

Walking towards the Geezard to further inspect her work, Quistis noticed a foreign shard of crystalline blue amoung the beast's wreckage. Tentatively reaching out, Quistis hoped that the object would be a piece of the magic she'd so carelessly flung. The instant her fingertips grasped the pale blue shard, she felt the world rushing below her feet as her surroundings transformed into an endless stark white void.

_Come, child._

Quistis spun around, looking for the source of the melodic voice that had rung in her ears. A spec of colour, of blue, in the distance! Numbly, Quistis began walking toward the distant illusion.

_How were you able to summon such magic, child?_

The spec of blue in the distance disappeared as Quistis felt lofty breath on her ear. Turning abruptly, Quistis gasped. Next to her was a smiling ethereal being dressed in immodest sheer fabrics. Her skin, her clothes- her entire being seemed doused with blue dye. The side of her face was partially crystalline and glittered as she creased full blue lips into a pouty smile.

_A deal, then… Child, you will give me life. In return, I will give you knowledge and strength_.

Feeling in a trance, Quistis was dimly aware of the Being extending a palm as her own mirrored the being. Her touch was a cold shock that traveled up Quistis' arm to encase her entire body in a gemlike frost. Just as fast, the illusion vanished, leaving Quistis cold in the moonlit plains of Galbadia.

Bewildered, Quistis dumbly looked at the hand that had touched the ethereal Being, wondering if it had all really happened or if it was a product of her stressed and weary body.

_Shiva is my name, Quistis-child. You gave me life as I lay dying._

Startled, Quistis looked around her for the Being- for Shiva- knowing that the Being lived now in a realm separate from everything and everyone… in a plane that only Quistis could call upon. Feeling lightheaded, Quistis headed back to her dorm in Galbadia Garden.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: This is a continuation of the last chapter, and will be for another chapter or two. I feel a need for small breaks between this fragment of the story. ….Speaking of fragments, the song, "Fragments of Memories" would be great to listen to as you read this chapter- it would really set the mood.

_A tall man stood in front of Quistis as if blocking a bright light. His face was shrouded in blurred shadow, but some unseen cue in her mind told her: _This man is your Adonis. _  
_

_The man stretched out his hand to her in a gentlemanly fashion. Quistis strained her eyes to see his face to no avail as she stepped closer. The closer she stepped, the further the god-like man moved; as if every step forward was a step back. Thinking logically (or illogically), Quistis paused and briefly contemplated stepping backwards to get closer to the shrouded man before she realized she couldn't think of any reason to do so. Quistis shrugged, and walked to the side, leaving the bland over-bright room alone, along with the stranger. Still, at the doorway Quistis paused as a small tug on her heart told her to remember. Quistis shook her head, and walked away as a sudden sadness overtook her being._

Quistis groaned at her alarm clock as it beeped frantically. Dumbly, her hand fumbled for the snooze button that seemed to have a knack for teleportation as her semi-conscious mind raced, or rather, tried to race. She'd had 'the dream' again. Every night since she'd become one with the Being she knew as Shiva, she'd had the same dream. Places she was dimly sure that she'd been once, people whose names stuck on her tongue, they all seemed to be reaching out to her. Only this time, she'd walked away. And walking away had left her feeling so hollow- it even transferred into her waking moments.

Sitting on the edge of her bed, Quistis decided she needed to call someone at Balamb Garden- but not before her morning ritual. She stood abruptly and stretched, begging for the nimbleness of being awake to return to her, then dressed in relative silence. Quistis scanned over her daily roster and lesson plans as she waited for her favourite morning tea to brew; a subtle chai with a spring of mint, or rosemary, or any herb above her sink that she felt needed a 'trim' that morning. In the back of her mind, Quistis knew that she'd had some silly reason, some funny story about why she'd only drink her special chai tea in the mornings- but she couldn't think of it a the moment, so Quistis shrugged it off as she headed towards he hopefully temporary classroom. For some reason, she really wanted to get back to her home in Balamb.

As her day drug on, Quistis continued to feel small pangs of hollowness. On her lunch break, Quistis subconsciously picked up the receiver to her desk's phone and dialed Balamb Garden before she realized she couldn't produce the name of the person she wanted to talk to. Or any person except Cid or Xu, and she hadn't anything new to report, so she gently placed the receiver back in its holster as the operator said 'Hello?' for the third time.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Sorry for the delay, especially since it's been ages since my last promised chapter. Life got thrown into my face and I've been coping.  
Also; more continuation of the previous timeline (Before SWII- Sorceress War II- while Quistis is away at Galbadia).

Seifer strolled into Cid's office and sprawled out onto the uncomfortable leather chair, letting his head hang backwards with his eyes closed. Gripping the armrests lightly, Seifer relaxed and let his spine sink into the faux leather and waited for Cid to finish whatever phonecall he was currently in.

"Sup, Chief?"

Cid tousled his graying hair and hung up the receiver. "Seifer, you really have to stop strolling in here. People get curious."  
Exhaling, Seifer spoke to the ceiling.

"Yeah, well tell them I'm in.." Seifer blindly waved a hand in the air, searching for words, "a prolonged detention plan of some kind."

Chuckling, Cid replied, "Ah. But then they'll request that I replace you as head of the Disciplinary Committee for being a poor example." Cid dropped his smile as he continued. "However, that's neither here nor there. How did recon go over the past week? I assumed you'd report to me later in the day... Have you even slept yet, son?"

Seifer took a deep breath as he brought his head up, revealing his severely bloodshot eyes.  
"No. I couldn't exactly sleep on the way back, what with making sure my ass didn't fall off the train I hitched. You gotta give me some sort of transportation pass. This shit is getting old."

Leaning forward, Seifer propped an arm on his leg as he rubbed the bridge of his nose through his still semi-frozen gloves. "Delta Sigma isn't doing any better than last month. Worse, even. I expect Gamma to make a move by spring.. Fuck! Right around SeeD test missions, even." Seifer made a guttural noise of discontent and held his head between his knees.

Cid sighed. Things were looking worse as time went on. "Well, you know I'm no good at this military crap. Your suggestions?"

Seifer paused his ministrations on his pounding temples and looked up at Cid's care-worn face. He mulled some thoughts over- namely Quistis.. he hadn't heard from her in months..._Damnit Seifer, preparations… Right.._

"Well Chief.. We need to recall the officers that are on away missions that can't be spared. We need our best here at Garden to train the kids going into the SeeD trials in spring. I still can't figure out for the life of me what the FUCK Gamma is after, so they need to be prepared for anything." Seifer paused, hating what he was about to say. "And… I suggest that the SeeD candidates' preliminary exam should be to successfully obtain and junction Ifrit. The monsters in Ifrit's cave are slightly stronger than those in the plains and forests without the chance of encountering a T-Rexaur. Fighting Ifrit and documenting the time it takes would be a good way to gauge potential."

Cid's jaw tensed. He knew Seifer hated resorting to junctioning Guardians- he speculated that it was mostly because of the memory laspses Seifer had witnessed in Squall and Zell.

"If that's the case, I'll need you to play an active role in this- attend select classes that are prepping students for the SeeD mission and report back to me on their efficacy. I'm also going to bring the rest of the kids back to Balamb if I can help it… " Cid trailed off, and Seifer couldn't help but be suspicious. However, Cid continued before Seifer could think more on it.

"I'll send Xu to the North to retrieve our Officers surrounding and at Trabia- and to retrieve Selphie..." Cid grinned, leading Seifer on, "I hear Trabia doesn't allow the junctioning of Guardians."

Seifer perked his head up a bit. "Selph? Heh, It'd be nice for someone to remember the sea like I do... Anyway, what about Galbadia? We've got Glyph and Quisty there… not to mention Irvine, the little shit."

Cid stroked his chin as he paced the floor in front of Seifer. Finally, he spoke and nearly startled the semi-conscious Seifer out of the chair.

"We can't just recall everyone at the same time. The paperwork alone would throw up too many red flags. We're going to have to do this in increments. Trabia… Yes, Trabia will be last. There's really only Selphie to bring back. Guillian has a post there- he can bring Selphie up to speed on SeeD trials. He can escort her back by the time SeeD trials start, leaving Xu here to handle.. other things."

Agitated, Seifer ran a hand through his now-thawed hair. "And what about Galba-"

Cid cut him off. "Galbadia will be first. You and the rest of the DC will travel to Galbadia Garden on the basis of participating in the Garden Exchange program around the time Quistis' current post comes to an end. Then, you three will serve a dual-purpose of an informal escort to Instructor Quistis. Of course, it will have to appear as if Quisty is dragging you three back by your ears."


	6. Chapter 6

Just outside the gates of Galbadia Garden, Seifer laughed and playfully punched Raijin on the shoulder. Raijin feinted and lowered his stance to that of a boxer, his large fists guarding his face. Fuujin shook her head in mock disapproval as Raijin started circling Seifer, who quickly caught on and mirrored his new friend. The men circled each other, gauging each other and waiting for an opening.

Seifer, slow on his footwork, stumbled slightly. Raijin took his chance, being of fancier footwork, and jabbed at Seifer. Caught unaware, Seifer instinctively parried the blow with his forearm only to misjudge his opponent's steadfast balance and strength. Raijin smirked as Seifer was forced into a combative roll, but soon realized that Seifer had turned his defensive roll into an offensive lower body attack. Raijin grunted as he was forced backward. Seifer regained the fighting stance, but soon lost sport as his opponent straightened upright and laughed heartily. Seifer stared at the laughing man quizzically.

"Care to enlighten the rest of the class?" Seifer began to roll up the sleeves of his trenchcoat. It was so damned hot.

"Nothin', Boss. 'Cept you kinda suck at boxing, ya know?" Raijin chuckled again as he made to block another punch from Seifer, only to be on the receiving end of a blow that stopped centimeters from his right temple. Raijin's face fell.

"Maybe you ain't so bad, ya know?" Seifer removed his fist and they both started laughing.

Fuujin, ever on the lookout, swiftly steped between them kicked both men in their shins. The headmaster of Galbadia Garden was approaching.

Stifling curses, Raijin and Seifer quickly fell in line with Fuujin at attention.

* * *

Seifer cursed his luck. Apparently, Quistis had departed for Balamb earlier in the day. After an especially dull tour of the facilities and amenities offered by Galbadia's exchange program, the posse was reclining in the air-conditioned comfort of their rail car.

"I'm jus sayin', G-garden don't need no DC like us, you know?"

"Raj, Cid probably wanted us to check out how Galbadia runs so we could take notes. You know, so we could improve our little posse?"

"The big man's pretty sneaky, ya know?

"What do you think, Fuu?"

"Fuu..?"

Fuuijn snapped herself out of her reverie and batted an eyelash before kicking Raijin in the shins.

"Tired."

"Heh, you and me both, Cyclops."

Seifer heard a wet crunch before he hit the ground.


End file.
